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Birth of the TP Slayer

Birth of the Slayer

Birth of the Slayer


 Once upon a time, long, long ago, the TP Slayer was just an ordinary man of simple intelligence and meager means. Unfortunately, he remains so. But that’s not the point. He met his wife in 1990. Actually, he met a girl who became his wife 2 years later. To actually have met his wife in 1990 would’ve required travelling to the future in a time machine. Of course, a man of simple intelligence and meager means would not have access to a time machine. Such a man has enough difficultly accessing a wife, much less a time machine. Come to think of it, if this man had access to a time machine, he might use its predictive advantages to improve his means and intelligence, thus gaining access to a wider selection of wives. Then this paragraph would’ve started much differently, wouldn’t it?

 But that’s not the point. The couple did meet in 1990 and got married in 1992. They concentrated on careers first. The simple man took entry and then mid-level positions in corporate communications at places like Nasdaq and Fleishman-Hillard. His wife was a hard-working corporate accountant.

 In 2000, they made a career move from the DC-metro area to Orange County, California. The simple couple went to a bank to get a loan for a simple house. There were still reasonable lending standards at the time. The bank required 20% down and gave a loan 3X income. Two years later in 2002, the simple couple went to get a loan for another simple investment property in Las Vegas. Quite simply, the lending standards had become too simple. The bank required no money down and offered a loan 6X income.

 The simple couple, who had voted for “compassionate conservatism” 2 years before, began to disagree with George Bush pretty early on in the decade that “the fundamentals of the economy were strong.” The simple couple noticed the median house price trend line explode away from the median income line. In Orange County in 2005, the median price for a single family home was $900K, while the median income was $100K. They saw a Republican administration and private sector that were not promoting fundamentally sound income and job growth through investment in new science, technology, education, and training. Instead they saw the entire economy rapidly expanding on the back of a fundamentally precarious bubble, stimulated by imbalanced tax cuts for the wealthy and diminished regulatory standards.

 In 2005, the simple couple took the kid and moved to Cary, North Carolina. The simple couple didn’t really take a kid from anyone. By this time in the story, they had actually engaged in sexual intercourse on one or two occasions. The result was a smaller version of the simple man.

 But that’s not the point. They moved to the Raleigh-Cary, NC area because, at the time, the housing price to income fundamentals there were among the strongest in the country. They knew that particular local market would hold up better than other parts of the country when economic hell broke loose. The simple couple didn’t need access to a time machine to know the American housing market and the economy would collapse. 

 So how did the simple man transform into the TP Slayer? Because after the economy collapsed, the simple man assumed the Federal Government, private sector, and the American people would work together to battle common problems and threats by investing in sound income and job growth. Instead, the simple man heard Tea Party leaders and their followers declare – “the federal government is the enemy!” Not Iran’s or North Korea’s, but our own American federal government is the enemy. He heard Tea Party followers argue that federal government spending, debt, taxation, and regulation weighs down the economy. He heard them promote that all government spending is detrimental and wasteful. Of course, he heard them boldly declare that “federal government has never created jobs.”

 The simple man at first was a bit peeved with this exaggerated argument. That irritation eventually boiled into rage and the TP Slayer was born.

The TP Slayer began to obsessively harass his family, friends, and neighbors about the defining debate of the day – the role of federal government in the American economy. Unfortunately, the TP Slayer saw his invitations to parties and barbeques decline. 

Lonely, desperate, and tormented, he turned to his keyboard to rant…..

  1. Liking your Blog…. pulled this from HBO’s show NewsRoom

    • Ideological purity
    • Compromise as weakness
    • A fundamental belief in scriptural literalism
    • Denying science
    • Unmoved by facts
    • Undeterred by new information
    • A hostel fear of progress
    • A demonization of education
    • Need to control women’s bodies
    • Severe xenophobia
    • Tribal mentality
    • Intolerant of dissent
    • Pathological hatred of the US government
    They can call themselves the Tea Party, they can call themselves conservative, they can even call themselves Republican…
    But we should call them for what they are, the American Taliban.

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